Dear Mr Amjamjamablad,
Further to your recent pronouncements on the history of the Israeli state I feel it necessary to write to you in the hope that I can enlighten you with a better understanding of how we in the west see the world and our role in shaping it, and by doing so, create better lines of communications between our two cultures.
Firstly Mr Jamblamabad, you need to understand that we in the ‘civilised’ west see no irony or injustice in throwing millions of Palestinians off their land to make way for millions of Jews who had to flee their land to escape Germany’s genocide in Europe. We make no apologies for making Iraq wage war on you or for making up lies to enable us to wage war in Iraq. We see nothing wrong with blanket bombing of villages from ten thousand feet above but we despise the cowardly terrorist acts of suicide bombers. We see no irony in walking out on your speeches, yet sitting on our hands as Israel slaughters hundreds of innocent Palestinians in Gaza. We uphold human rights at all times that it suits us but we will not tolerate such activity from others not signed up to our civilised values or strategic requirements.
We do as we please Mr Jimjumblidad simply because we are the moral guardians of the world. We are the ‘Blue Eyed Europeans’ who have spread civilisation and western values across the globe from the time of the Conquistadors, the Crusaders, and the Mayflower, to Fox TV, Sky and The BBC World Service. We have the resources, money and power to shape the world as we see fit. A civilised, democratic world, based on justice, equality, human rights, and the rule of law. A world Mr Jamabludibad, where the likes of you and your racist comments about Israel have no place.
Secondly sir, might I suggest you take on a more pronounceable name.